r = 1 gotbasketball = 0 gotflag = 0 gothotsauce = 0 gotbrick = 0 gotshovel = 0 frank = 1 bob = 1 oldman = 1 nancy = 1 stacy = 1 homelessguy = 1 SCREEN 12 COLOR 2, 0 CLS DIM SHARED DOOM AS DOUBLE Minutes = 59 Seconds = 59 GameTime = Minutes * 60 + Seconds DIM directions(1 TO 25) AS STRING directions(1) = "EAST" directions(2) = "NORTH OR WEST" directions(3) = "NORTH OR SOUTH" directions(4) = "EAST OR SOUTH" directions(5) = "EAST OR WEST" directions(6) = "NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, OR WEST" directions(7) = "EAST OR SOUTH" directions(8) = "WEST, EAST, OR SOUTH" directions(9) = "NORTH, SOUTH, OR WEST" directions(10) = "NORTH OR WEST" directions(11) = "NORTH OR EAST" directions(12) = "EAST OR WEST" directions(13) = "EAST, WEST, OR SOUTH" directions(14) = "NORTH" directions(15) = "WEST OR SOUTH" directions(16) = "NORTH OR EAST" directions(17) = "WEST OR SOUTH" directions(18) = "NORTH OR SOUTH" directions(19) = "NORTH OR SOUTH" directions(20) = "NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, OR WEST" directions(21) = "WEST OR SOUTH" directions(22) = "NORTH OR WEST" directions(23) = "NORTH, EAST, OR WEST" directions(24) = "NORTH OR EAST" directions(25) = "EAST OR SOUTH" PRINT "" PRINT "" PRINT "______________________________________________________________________" PRINT "|You fought, begged, and pleaded not to go to camp. But, with no |" PRINT "|luck. How were you suppose to know that a cheery bomb would kill |" PRINT "|someone on the toilet? Pfft, parents just don't understand. Let's |" PRINT "|what sorta fun you can have in this dump of a camp. |" PRINT "| |" PRINT "|Welcome, to Camp Two Dogs Humping. |" PRINT "_____________________________________________________________________|" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" DOOM = TIMER(0.001) + GameTime 'change this to to desied time for the game to run DO CLS PRINT PRINT PRINT " " PRINT " " PRINT " " PRINT " HANFERD GOES TO CAMP " PRINT " " PRINT " Written by " PRINT " E.C. MACINTOSH " PRINT "" PRINT " Copyright (c) 2016" PRINT "" PRINT SPACE$(38); IF INSTR(directions(r), "NORTH") THEN PRINT "N" ELSE PRINT PRINT "*---------------------------------* "; IF INSTR(directions(r), "WEST") THEN PRINT "W"; ELSE PRINT " "; PRINT " + "; IF INSTR(directions(r), "EAST") THEN PRINT "E"; ELSE PRINT " "; PRINT " *------------------------------------*" PRINT SPACE$(38); IF INSTR(directions(r), "SOUTH") THEN PRINT "S" ELSE PRINT PRINT PRINT "If you are stuck just type HELP." PRINT GOSUB ROOM GOSUB parser LOOP ROOM: IF r = 1 THEN: GOSUB r1 IF r = 2 THEN: GOSUB r2 IF r = 3 THEN: GOSUB r3 IF r = 4 THEN: GOSUB r4 IF r = 5 THEN: GOSUB r5 IF r = 6 THEN: GOSUB r6 IF r = 7 THEN: GOSUB r7 IF r = 8 THEN: GOSUB r8 IF r = 9 THEN: GOSUB r9 IF r = 10 THEN: GOSUB r10 IF r = 11 THEN: GOSUB r11 IF r = 12 THEN: GOSUB r12 IF r = 13 THEN: GOSUB r13 IF r = 14 THEN: GOSUB r14 IF r = 15 THEN: GOSUB r15 IF r = 16 THEN: GOSUB r16 IF r = 17 THEN: GOSUB r17 IF r = 18 THEN: GOSUB r18 IF r = 19 THEN: GOSUB r19 IF r = 20 THEN: GOSUB r20 IF r = 21 THEN: GOSUB r21 IF r = 22 THEN: GOSUB r22 IF r = 23 THEN: GOSUB r23 IF r = 24 THEN: GOSUB r24 IF r = 25 THEN: GOSUB r25 RETURN parser: PRINT "> "; cmd$ = GrabInput cmd$ = LTRIM$(RTRIM$(UCASE$(cmd$))) IF cmd$ = "END" OR cmd$ = "QUIT" OR cmd$ = "EXIT" OR cmd$ = "Q" THEN END END IF IF cmd$ = "HELP" OR cmd$ = "H" OR cmd$ = "?" THEN CLS PRINT "HERE ARE SOME BASIC COMMANDS THAT CAN BE USED IN THE GAME..." PRINT PRINT "NORTH, EAST ,SOUTH, AND WEST - MOVE TO AN AVAILABLE LOCATION" PRINT "EXAMINE (OBJECT) - EXAMINE AN OBJECT" PRINT "USE (OBJECT) - USE AN OBJECT" PRINT "TAKE (OBJECT) - TAKE OR MOVE AN OBJECT" PRINT "TALK - TALK TO SOMEONE" PRINT "KILL - KILL AT YOUR OWN RISK" PRINT "INVENTORY - VIEW YOUR INVENTORY" PRINT "HELP - VIEW THIS SCREEN" PRINT "END - END GAME" PRINT PRINT "PRESS ANY KEY...": SLEEP DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF cmd$ = "INVENTORY" OR cmd$ = "INV" OR cmd$ = "ITEMS" OR cmd$ = "I" THEN CLS PRINT "INVENTORY..." PRINT IF gotbasketball = 1 THEN: PRINT "A ticket for this little circus." IF gotflag = 1 THEN: PRINT "A bag of over salted porcorn." IF gothotsauce = 1 THEN: PRINT "A plastic disc with a eye painted on it." IF gotbrick = 1 THEN: PRINT "A blood stained plastic knife." IF gotshovel = 1 THEN: PRINT "A doll of Dracula. Crudly made in some sweat shop." PRINT PRINT "PRESS ANY KEY..." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF cmd$ = "GO NORTH" OR cmd$ = "NORTH" OR cmd$ = "N" THEN IF r = 2 THEN: r = 3: GOTO moved IF r = 3 THEN: r = 4: GOTO moved IF r = 11 THEN: r = 6: GOTO moved IF r = 6 THEN: r = 7: GOTO moved IF r = 10 THEN: r = 9: GOTO moved IF r = 9 THEN: r = 8: GOTO moved IF r = 14 THEN: r = 13: GOTO moved IF r = 16 THEN: r = 15: GOTO moved IF r = 24 THEN: r = 25: GOTO moved IF r = 22 THEN: r = 21: GOTO moved IF r = 23 THEN: r = 20: GOTO moved IF r = 20 THEN: r = 19: GOTO moved IF r = 19 THEN: r = 18: GOTO moved IF r = 18 THEN: r = 17: GOTO moved END IF IF cmd$ = "GO EAST" OR cmd$ = "EAST" OR cmd$ = "E" THEN IF r = 1 THEN: r = 2: GOTO moved IF r = 4 THEN: r = 5: GOTO moved IF r = 5 THEN: r = 6: GOTO moved IF r = 6 THEN: r = 9: GOTO moved IF r = 11 THEN: r = 10: GOTO moved IF r = 7 THEN: r = 8: GOTO moved IF r = 8 THEN: r = 12: GOTO moved IF r = 12 THEN: r = 13: GOTO moved IF r = 13 THEN: r = 15: GOTO moved IF r = 16 THEN: r = 17: GOTO moved IF r = 25 THEN: r = 20: GOTO moved IF r = 20 THEN: r = 21: GOTO moved IF r = 24 THEN: r = 23: GOTO moved IF r = 23 THEN: r = 22: GOTO moved END IF IF cmd$ = "GO SOUTH" OR cmd$ = "SOUTH" OR cmd$ = "S" THEN IF r = 4 THEN: r = 3: GOTO moved IF r = 3 THEN: r = 2: GOTO moved IF r = 7 THEN: r = 6: GOTO moved IF r = 6 THEN: r = 11: GOTO moved IF r = 8 THEN: r = 9: GOTO moved IF r = 9 THEN: r = 10: GOTO moved IF r = 13 THEN: r = 14: GOTO moved IF r = 15 THEN: r = 16: GOTO moved IF r = 17 THEN: r = 18: GOTO moved IF r = 18 THEN: r = 19: GOTO moved IF r = 19 THEN: r = 20: GOTO moved IF r = 20 THEN: r = 23: GOTO moved IF r = 25 THEN: r = 24: GOTO moved IF r = 21 THEN: r = 22: GOTO moved END IF IF cmd$ = "GO WEST" OR cmd$ = "WEST" OR cmd$ = "W" THEN IF r = 2 THEN: r = 1: GOTO moved IF r = 10 THEN: r = 11: GOTO moved IF r = 9 THEN: r = 6: GOTO moved IF r = 6 THEN: r = 5: GOTO moved IF r = 5 THEN: r = 4: GOTO moved IF r = 15 THEN: r = 13: GOTO moved IF r = 13 THEN: r = 12: GOTO moved IF r = 12 THEN: r = 8: GOTO moved IF r = 8 THEN: r = 7: GOTO moved IF r = 17 THEN: r = 16: GOTO moved IF r = 21 THEN: r = 20: GOTO moved IF r = 20 THEN: r = 25: GOTO moved IF r = 22 THEN: r = 23: GOTO moved IF r = 23 THEN: r = 24: GOTO moved END IF ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE BASKET BALL") AND gotbasketball = 1 THEN CLS PRINT "An old worn out basket ball. Nothing special." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE FLAG") AND gotflag = 1 THEN CLS PRINT "A flag for the camp. It's poorly made and has two dogs going at" PRINT "it, in front of some Chief." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE HOT SAUCE") AND gothotsauce = 1 THEN CLS PRINT "A bottle of hot sauce with a Southern man, wearing a Mexican" PRINT "wrestling mask. He's playing a Tardcade too." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE BRICK") AND gotbrick = 1 THEN CLS PRINT "Just some brick. I'd love to crack some skulls with this." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE FRANK") AND r = 9 THEN CLS PRINT "He doesn't notice that you are watching him putting on nail polish." PRINT "" PRINT "TALK TO FRANK or KILL FRANK" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "TALK TO FRANK") AND r = 9 THEN CLS PRINT "You must be Hanferd. Now listen, the Old Man warned us about you." PRINT "Just stay out of trouble and everything would be good, okay?" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "KILL FRANK") AND r = 9 THEN CLS GOTO gameover: DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE BOB") AND r = 3 THEN CLS PRINT "You look at this mess of a man. His shirt is stained with sweat" PRINT "and coffee. A strong smell of cheap beer lingers on him. His name" PRINT "tage read -BOB-." PRINT "" PRINT "TALK TO BOB" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "TALK TO BOB") AND r = 3 THEN CLS PRINT "Don't let my Girlfriend know I slept with Frank...-BARFFFFFFF-" PRINT "" PRINT "FRANK" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "FRANK") AND r = 3 THEN CLS PRINT "Yeah, think I got crabs now and not the good kind. He he he." PRINT PRINT "CRABS" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "CRABS") AND r = 3 THEN CLS PRINT "Are you retarded? Hamford!" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE OLD MAN") AND r = 1 THEN CLS PRINT "You see this creepy old man, who looks to have survived the Great War." PRINT "He's wearing a white shirt, with two dogs going at it. As he watches" PRINT "the kids get off the bus, you notice he's licking his lips and giggles." PRINT "" PRINT "TALK TO OLD MAN" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "TALK TO OLD MAN") AND r = 1 THEN CLS PRINT "Listen here, you sneaky turd. I know what you and that family you have" PRINT "did to us during the Cola Wars. I got my eye's on you." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE HOMELESS MAN") AND r = 18 THEN CLS PRINT "You look at this disgusting mess of a man. Who smells like pee and" PRINT "spoiled milk. He's wearing a brown jacket and a stained band shirt" PRINT "from some lame Chiptune Band...pfft." PRINT "" PRINT "TALK TO HOMELESS MAN" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "TALK TO HOMELESS MAN") AND r = 18 THEN CLS PRINT "Hey man, you know where a guy can get a drink? Probably, not cause" PRINT "you look like a turd." PRINT "" PRINT "KILL HOMELESS MAN" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "KILL DRUNK") AND r = 18 THEN CLS GOTO gameover2: DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE STACY") AND r = 10 THEN CLS PRINT "You look over to this woman crying on the bed holding a stick? How" PRINT "odd you think. You see that the stick is small and white. Something" PRINT "doesn't feel right." PRINT "" PRINT "TALK TO STACY" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "TALK TO STACY") AND r = 10 THEN CLS PRINT "This day couldn't get any worse. First, I came here, and now I pregnant." PRINT "" PRINT "WHO IS THE FATHER or THAT SUCKS WANNA PORK" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "WHO IS THE FATHER") AND r = 10 THEN CLS PRINT "THe Old Man, who owns this place. If someone were to take a brick to his" PRINT "dome then I'd prok them to the beans boil." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "THAT SUCKS WANNA PORK") AND r = 10 THEN CLS PRINT "She shrugs her shoulders and you give her the good ole Hanferd shuffle." PRINT "It ain't like the kid's going to be yours or anything." PRINT "" PRINT "30 Hanferd Points" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "KILL STACY" OR cmd$ = "USE BRICK") AND gotbrick = 1 AND stacy = 0 THEN CLS PRINT "When no one's looking, you take out the brick and finish her off. No one" PRINT "will miss the future Welfare Queen. BUt with magic she comes back to life." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "EXAMINE NANCY") AND r = 22 THEN CLS PRINT "A Nubian Goddess of sorts. She's what you'd see in one of the movies your" PRINT "dad keeps in his closet. With the stuff where the Husband just watches and" PRINT "cries." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "TALK TO NANCY") AND r = 22 THEN CLS PRINT "What do you want?" PRINT "" PRINT "NAMES HANFERD or WANT SOME SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "NAMES HANFERD") AND r = 22 THEN CLS GOTO gameover4: DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "WANT SOME SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE") AND r = 22 THEN CLS GOTO gameover5: DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "TAKE BASKET BALL") AND gotbasketball = 0 AND r = 12 THEN gotbasketball = 1 PRINT "You take the Basket Ball." END IF IF (cmd$ = "TAKE FLAG") AND gotflag = 0 AND r = 3 THEN gotflag = 1 PRINT "Yuu take the Flag." END IF IF (cmd$ = "TAKE HOT SAUCE") AND gothotsauce = 0 AND r = 17 THEN gothotsauce = 1 PRINT "You have taken the Hot Sauce." END IF IF (cmd$ = "TAKE BRICK") AND gotbrick = 0 AND r = 15 THEN gotbrick = 1 PRINT "You have taken the Brick." END IF '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' IF (cmd$ = "TAKE A SHIT") AND r = 18 THEN CLS PRINT "You quickly run into the toilet, tare off your pants, and let loose" PRINT "the juice. The smell of death lingers through the air. In the distance" PRINT "you can hear people throwing up and eve a woman crying. Good Job." PRINT "" PRINT "25 Hanferd Points." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "TAKE SHOWER") AND r = 17 THEN CLS PRINT "You figure it'll be a good time to shower up. You can smell a foul stench" PRINT "coming from your balls. No wonder not even Frank, wanted any." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "JERK OFF ON PILLOW") AND r = 21 THEN CLS PRINT "Quickly, you look around and find that you a alone. No time like the present" PRINT "you figure. Going to town, you quickly finish, no one's the wiser...but you!" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "SMELL SHEETS") AND r = 24 THEN CLS PRINT "Quickly you pull off the covers and take a deep sniff...then someone" PRINT "yells out to you. -STOP THAT YOU SNEAKY PETE-. Before they can do" PRINT "anything, you make your escape." PRINT "" PRINT "Minus 80 Hanferd Points." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "SHIT ON TABLE") AND r = 14 THEN CLS PRINT "While everyone's munching down on grub. You step up on the table and" PRINT "do your version of the Lion King. A beef stew like substance pours" PRINT "out from your behind and splatters those in it's path." PRINT "" PRINT "WTF Hanferd." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "PISS ON OLD MAN") AND r = 1 THEN CLS GOTO win: DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF IF (cmd$ = "USE BRICK") AND gotbrick = 1 THEN CLS GOTO win2: DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ = "" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END IF moved: RETURN r1: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " It's a nice summer day in July, you wish you could've stayed home. The " PRINT " ride to the camp was awful. You sat next to a kid who kept talking " PRINT " about video games and farting. " PRINT " " PRINT " You see the OLD MAN who runs the place. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r2: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You walk across an uneven mowed patch of grass. The smell of nature is " PRINT " sickening. THe sounds of people laughing and talking makes you wish you" PRINT " were left alone listening to Micheal Bolton. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r3: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You are standing next to the flag pole. People walk by and point and " PRINT " laugh...are you missing something? " PRINT " " PRINT " You see BOB trying to do his job. Checking names off of a list. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" IF gotflag = 0 THEN: PRINT "You see the lame FLAG laying on the ground." RETURN r4: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You are standing on a gravel path. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r5: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You are standing before the boys sleeping quarters. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r6: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " Rows and rows of bunks litter the cabin. You see a few of your fellow " PRINT " campers. The smell of bug spray makes you gag. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r7: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You are standing in the corner of the cabin. Yuu feel a rumbling in " PRINT " your tummy. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r8: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You hear the odd sound of two hands clapping. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r9: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You are standing in front of a bunk, the guy slowly clapping to himself" PRINT " doesn't notice you. Why is he clapping? " PRINT " " PRINT " You see FRANK clapping for some reason. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r10: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " The sounds of a woman crying can be heard. Strange, how this is suppose" PRINT " to be for boys only. " PRINT " " PRINT " You see STACY panicing to herself. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r11: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " Alas, the place where you'll be spending the rest of the summer here. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r12: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You are standing by a ghetto basket ball court. Rust covers the rim and" PRINT " broken glass from a beer bottle litters the cement. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" IF gotbasketball = 0 THEN: PRINT "An old worn out BASKET BALL is by the net." RETURN r13: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " A path leads you to either a bike trail or mess hall. You feel a shit a" PRINT " coming...but you are so hungry...decisions decisions. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r14: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You see a large group of people eating and laughing. How you hate that " PRINT " people are happy. The smell of chili fills the air and you don't think " PRINT " you can hold the flood gates for this river of poo. " PRINT " " PRINT " SHIT ON TABLE " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r15: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " The long narrow bike trail takes you through the unknown. Trash litters" PRINT " the path and a foul smell of cat shit fills the air. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" IF gotbrick = 0 THEN: PRINT "You see a BRICK this can fun." RETURN r16: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You stand at the end of the bike path and see the shower rooms. Oh, " PRINT " golly gee gosh, what sorta fun can I have here, you think to yourself. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r17: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " Hot steam bellows out from the showers...should you do it...should you " PRINT " not do it? " PRINT "" PRINT " TAKE SHOWER " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" IF gothotsauce = 0 THEN: PRINT "You see a bottle of HOT SAUCE by the sink." RETURN r18: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " The smell of chili fills the air...strangely you are hungry...why are " PRINT " you here? " PRINT " " PRINT " TAKE A SHIT or TALK TO HOMELESS MAN " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r19: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " Finally, you are back on a normal path and...wait...in the distance, " PRINT " you see what looks like heaven to a tender lil feller. " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r20: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " The smell of cotton candy and piss fills the air around you... " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r21: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You are standing by a neatly made bed...you can't handle it any more. " PRINT "" PRINT " JERK OFF ON PILLOW " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r22: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " The smell of purfume fills the air. There, you see an angel sitting " PRINT " before you. What will you do? " PRINT "" PRINT " TALK TO NANCY " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r23: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " Rows and rows of bunks...where is everybody? " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r24: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " You hear laughter from the outside and are frozen with fear. Best beat " PRINT " it before some one catches you... " PRINT "" PRINT " SMELL SHEETS " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN r25: PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" PRINT " Another empty room...what do you expect? " PRINT "________________________________________________________________________" RETURN win2: COLOR 2, 0 CLS PRINT "You don't give a fudge. Your Hanferd, this place sucks dick, and this guy is" PRINT "a creep. TIme to show this tard, how Hanferd does it. You unzip your pants and" PRINT "let him have it. After you do that, he throws you and that dumb broad he knocked" PRINT "up out of the camp. But don't worry, the two of you get married and you raise" PRINT "the kid just like he's your own...If you haven't figure it out, you lose, game over," PRINT "" PRINT "GOOD DAY SIR" PRINT "" PRINT "" PRINT "-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------" PRINT "Thank you for playing" PRINT PRINT "-HANFERD GOES TO CAMP-" PRINT "" PRINT "Written by D.B. Taylor" DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END win: COLOR 2, 0 CLS PRINT "Not wanting to take this shit any more. You decide the only thing for you to" PRINT "do was to take a nice long piss. So you do and as everyone watches and cheers" PRINT "you on, the Old Man just gives you the thousand yard stare. Then with a swift" PRINT "kicks to your dumplings you black and find yourself on a bus back home. " PRINT "" PRINT "This is the good ending by the way." PRINT "" PRINT "" PRINT "-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------" PRINT PRINT "-HANFERD GOES TO CAMP-" PRINT "" PRINT "Written by D.B. Taylor" PRINT PRINT "Thank you for playing and Stay Tuned for the next thrilling Hanferd Adventure." DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END gameover: COLOR 2, 0 CLS PRINT "You've done it now Hanferd, you've killed someone, and now you are going" PRINT "to find out just how much you are worth. Don't cry Hanferd, they smell " PRINT "fear" PRINT "" PRINT "GAME OVER." PRINT DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END gameover2: COLOR 2, 0 CLS PRINT "No one misses the homeless and you've proven that here tonight Hanferd." PRINT "But sadly, the programmer does, so you get a game over." PRINT "" PRINT "GAME OVER..." PRINT DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END gameover4: COLOR 2, 0 CLS PRINT "She gives you a strange look and shrygs. After you start giving her your" PRINT "noodle, you see the Homeless Man is standing behind you. Without a moment" PRINT "to spare, he knocks you out. It turns out they are working together for" PRINT "an organ harvesting group. You wake up in a tub full of ice with no kidneys." PRINT "" PRINT "Game Over..." PRINT DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END gameover5: COLOR 2, 0 CLS PRINT "Quickly, she screams and as everyone races in to see what was happening" PRINT "she starts crying and says you raped her. Enjoy prison tender feller..." PRINT "Don't bother sticking your dick in crazy." PRINT "" PRINT "Game Over..." PRINT DO: LOOP UNTIL INKEY$ <> "" END FUNCTION GrabInput$ x = POS(0) y = CSRLIN maxwidth = _WIDTH - x PCOPY 0, 1 'make a backup copy of the screen DO k = _KEYHIT i$ = INKEY$ LOOP UNTIL k = 0 AND INKEY$ = "" 'clear the keyboard buffer DO _LIMIT 30 PCOPY 1, 0 LOCATE y, x: PRINT Userinput$ k = _KEYHIT SELECT CASE k CASE 8 Userinput$ = LEFT$(Userinput$, LEN(Userinput$) - 1) CASE 65 TO 90, 97 TO 122, 32 Userinput$ = UCASE$(Userinput$ + CHR$(k)) END SELECT timerleft## = (DOOM - TIMER(0.001)) minutes = timerleft## \ 60 seconds = timerleft## - minutes * 60 LOCATE 2, 32: PRINT USING " ###:##.###"; minutes, seconds IF timerleft## <= 0 THEN GOTO doomed _DISPLAY LOOP UNTIL k = 13 GrabInput$ = Userinput$ _AUTODISPLAY EXIT FUNCTION doomed: CLS PRINT "Before you realize it, the summers over, and you've wasted it. Way to go" PRINT "Hanferd, now you can't play your Doom or drink soda anymore." PRINT PRINT "Better Luck Next Time...fruit" _DISPLAY END END SUB